AITA for not giving my cat back to the breeder?
You were given this Maine Coon with the requirement that he should be placed in a caring home and be neutered — not used repeated for breeding him. You then moved him into your home and officially owned him, and now the breeder is trying to backpedal on that agreement. This abrupt push to take him back — despite the initial claim that neutering is non-negotiable — is ethically fishy at best.
Their behaviour is very manipulative using financial bygone guilt, (Do you know how much these cats go for?) to force your hand well before something you never agreed to As if they would only want him “for a few days,” and who knows if he would be returned on time — if at all — before his neutering. Also, their aggressive nature —now asking to be allowed to take him, then asking to breed in your house, then reversing to take him — demonstrates no concern for your house or the cat’s wellness.
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Here’s what top commenters had to say about this one:
- Legal & Ethical Standing – Once you took ownership and paid, the cat became yours. The breeder cannot demand him back unless there was a legally binding contract allowing it. If there were an agreement about neutering, their request to delay it contradicts their own conditions.
- Stress & Adjustment – He’s only just settled into your home, and moving him back (or bringing a female in) would be disruptive. Cats rely heavily on routine, and being shuttled between homes could cause stress, potentially leading to behavioral issues.
- Potential Breeding Exploitation – It’s concerning that they suddenly want to breed him after stating he should be neutered. This raises questions about their motivations—were they truly looking for a good home, or did they always plan to keep him as a “backup” stud?
- Possibility of Losing Him – Given their behavior, there’s a legitimate concern they might keep him longer than promised, especially if he doesn’t breed successfully right away. The risk of them delaying his return, and therefore his neutering, is real.
What to Do Now?
- Hold Firm – Politely but firmly reiterate that he is your cat, the agreement was that he would be neutered, and you will not allow him to be used for breeding.
- Block Further Pressure – If they continue pushing, stop engaging. You don’t owe them further discussion.
- Neuter ASAP – Consider moving his appointment up if possible to prevent any further debate.
- Document Everything – Keep records of their messages in case they try to escalate the situation.
They had their chance to keep him for breeding and explicitly chose to rehome him under the condition that he would not be bred. Their sudden change of heart is not your problem. You’re protecting your cat and your household from unnecessary stress.
Verdict: Not the A-hole. The breeder is being shady, and you are absolutely justified in saying no.
