Dad Wants Forgiveness After Decades of Avoidance Too Late.

The OP (65F64) and her ex-husband (M62) have an adult child together and divorced in 1987, when their child was a baby, Shannon Shannon was ordered to pay $50 a month in child support, but he never paid—he worked in casual jobs and took cash only, refusing government employment. OP applied for support according to minimum wage in 1992 [so] Shannon refused to pay and was completely out of her child’s life by 1993.

OP hadn’t seen a dime from those checks in over a decade—until 2004, when she began receiving small weekly payments of $64, which shocked her. A few days later, Shannon called demanding OP to inform the police to cease garnishing his wages, but she would not. Instead of adhering to the order, he just quit again. Cut to 2021, Shannon came back begging for OP to sign a document forgiving his now over $65,000+ child support debt. He said he would pay $300/month directly, but based on his past behaviors, OP didn’t take him at his word.

Later, OP learned that Shannon had child support debt and so to make for this, Texas had put a lien on Shannon preventing him from owning property. His then-wife divorced him, wanting nothing to do with his financial troubles. Which, according to OP, is the actual reason he was begging her—he was on the brink of losing everything and needed to clear his criminal record. OP cracked up because he kept calling. She says that she is not an AH for doing so.

Read for more info Reddit

From a legal perspective, Shannon’s situation is entirely his own making. The United States takes child support enforcement seriously, and Texas is particularly aggressive about tracking down and penalizing non-payers. In Texas, back child support, also known as arrears, doesn’t simply disappear when the child turns 18. The state enforces arrears indefinitely, often by garnishing wages, seizing tax refunds, or placing liens on assets like property. Even if OP were to forgive the debt, it wouldn’t necessarily erase the lien—it would still require approval from the Texas Attorney General’s office, which generally prioritizes the child’s right to that money.

Furthermore, Shannon’s long-standing refusal to contribute financially, combined with his attempts to manipulate the system, suggests that OP has every right to find his predicament ironic, if not outright laughable. The legal and moral obligation of child support exists to ensure the well-being of the child, and courts do not take kindly to parents who deliberately avoid payments. Shannon quitting jobs to avoid garnishment is a textbook case of “voluntary underemployment,” which courts often penalize. Had OP pursued it, she might have even been able to seek additional legal consequences for his willful evasion.

The lien against Shannon also serves a crucial purpose. Texas has the authority to deny passport renewals, suspend driver’s licenses, and intercept government payments (such as Social Security) to recover child support debts. This likely means that even in his old age, Shannon will face financial and legal consequences for his choices.

Given this history, OP’s laughter is more than justified. Shannon’s sudden panic about the debt—when it finally affects his life—highlights his selfishness. He was fine neglecting his responsibility for decades, but now that it’s costing him personally, he wants OP to let him off the hook. OP is under no obligation to ease the consequences of his own irresponsibility.

Here are the top comments from readers.

OP is justified in laughing in the face of Shannon’s misfortune because his predicament is self-inflicted. For nearly 33 years, he intentionally avoided his obligation as a father to pay child support wage garnishments working under the table, even quitting jobs to evade his obligation to pay court-ordered child support. He eventually disappeared from his daughter’s life and showed zero interest in her well-being after 1993. Now he wants OP to be merciful towards him — not because he feels so guilty for not paying back, but because now it is hurting him to pay.

The man suddenly racing to scrub his record clean isn’t doing it for justice, or to right past wrongs, but solely for his own convenience. He didn’t contact until when the Texas Attorney General put a lien on him that was so extensive, it nearly prevented him from being able to own property which make his wife left him before the divorce. Its sweet irony that the man whose greatest fear was being abandoned, would leave his child too, to now be abandoned by his child, possibly feel the very consequence of his actions, that he avoided so, so deeply through his manipulative behaviour!

It only makes perfect sense why OP can hardly stop from laughing, and he has rightly earned that. She raised Shannon for years as a single mother with no help but Shannon never cared. His nonsense is finally catching up to him, and now he wants OP to take the blame. But she owes him nothing. If anything, he is fortunate Texas did not go after him for losses of higher severity, like asset forfeiture or garnishing government paychecks. The justice system is doing its job, and only making him pay what he apparently owes.

With a long history of deception, lies and irresponsibility, Shannon’s calls and empty promises mean nothing. OP is never going to get a penny of the back child support — but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t go after it. What you do will come back to you; now Shannon is getting his. To laugh at the ridiculousness of his request isn’t just warranted—it is just a perfectly normal reaction to decades of avoidance and neglect coming to collect their debt to him maybe.