Friend Won’t Shut Up About His IQ—So I Gave Him a Reality Check
But when a friend fixates on his IQ score, their initial mildly annoying hit quickly degrades into an outright insult. Brian then began bragging about his fake 131 IQ and putting down everyone else, including a med student by saying no one was really that smart. However, his arrogance tripled at a party when he said that low-IQ people never know their own limits.
Which is when OP pulled the trigger on a devastatingly well placed comment, “What’s it like to be smart and lose in fantasy football every year?” The whole room burst out laughing and Brian went home early, humiliated. But since then, he’s become mum on the group chat and refuses the IQ test challenge his friends all entered — despite being the one who brought the subject up before. Now, OP thinks: too harsh for calling him out, or sounds like karma?
There is no upside to being a braggart
A man scored high on an online IQ test and began rubbing it in every chance he had
The Dunning-Kruger Effect & The Social Pitfalls of IQ Obsession
1. The Dunning-Kruger Effect: When ‘Smart’ People Overestimate Themselves
Brian is displaying the classic Dunning-Kruger Effect, a cognitive bias in which individuals with low knowledge overestimate their intelligence (source).
- One should point out that studies indicate people who are of average intelligence (mid 100s to mid 120s IQ I believe) are more likely to think of themselves as geniuses.
- Donthunkit has written a blog on this subject and questions whether true high-IQ people are more inclined to show intellectual humility by realizing just how much they don’t know.
- Even if online IQ tests were reliable, they are known to leave rather untamable in their score inflation CD81AB, Q, with a score of 131 which does not even approach Mensa level genius (source).
Brian is definitely placed himself into this overconfidence trap because he is too obsessed with IQ and belief that others he met are quite dumb, while real intelligence is about more than a number!
2. The Social Repercussions of IQ Arrogance
It is not just annoying to brag about intelligence—it can actually harm social relationships. Studies have found that people who go around talking about their intelligence or IQ come off as arrogant and dislikeable (source).
The reason Brian’s put-downs of friends, especially the “just good at memorization” dismissal of medical professionals, are above all a reminder of a widespread brand of intellectual elitism that doesn’t affirm any mind power so much as it drives a wedge between Brian and anyone he deems below his level? This are likely a few of the reasons that his friend group betrayed him — intelligence is something that comes through action and insight, not boasting.
3. Was OP’s Response Justified? The Role of Social ‘Ego Checks’
OP’s comment was public and humiliating, and although that was an ego check that was probably needed.
- Arrogance in public should elicit humbling on public ground — if Brian was happy dumping on to others, he should have known the risks of being dumped on.
- Humor is an acceptable form of criticism—by couching it as a joke, OP gave Brian an opportunity to blow it off, rather than flat-out criticize him.
- Aftermath (Brian avoiding the group chat) indicates he was not as confident as the talk — evidence that his IQ call was more a function of insecurity than actual smarts.
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It was hilarious, but OP’s response was also a timely reminder about the unwritten rules of civilized society. IQ measures cognitive capability but emotional intelligence (EQ) — the ability to manage your relationships — is at least just as important for success (source). A smart Brian – but one who is not humble or without self-awareness – is a number.
So, was OP too harsh? Probably not. I mean, if B-Money is gonna brag 24/7, he should be able to handle the occasional (seriously though, the only) joke shot back. Perhaps next, he will concentrate on being smart instead of demonstrating it.
