‘AITA for telling my brother’s girlfriend that she’s weird as hell? She is jealous of me.’

You (F19) have a slightly strange but mostly normal relationship with your twin brother. You have similar interests like video games and complex LEGO sets, but also have separate lives and friends. Recently your brother start dating a chick who seems to have a problem with you. She and your boyfriend do not have the best relationship, but she is very cold with you (cue the tension when she’s around).

The one that got pretty extreme was when she came over unannounced while you and your bro were playing a video game. He said he would do with you ahead of, that’s a ten moment task, and she blinked in distinct ire. When you questioned her about it, you and your bro were “too close” and the “relationship is weird.” You called her “weird as f*ck” in response, understandably. She huffed out, and then your brother said she got angry and doesn’t want to visit any more. You also added in defense of yourself that she treats you weird and that your brother said that was odd as well. Now you’re second guessing yourself.

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1. Is Her Behavior Justified?

The girlfriend of your brother seems like having jealousy or insecurity is not uncommon in new relationships — especially a partner has a close sibling of the opposite sex. Individual insecurities or past experiences drive some people to mistake sibling intimacy for illicitness when it’s perfectly natural. Her discomfort may stem from:

• Lack of experience with close sibling relationships – She may not have grown up with siblings or had a strained family dynamic, making it difficult for her to understand your bond.
• Past relationship trauma – If she has been cheated on or had a partner prioritize another woman over her (even platonically), she could be projecting that fear onto your relationship with your brother.
• A general lack of maturity – At 19, some people are still navigating emotional insecurities, and instead of addressing them directly, they react in passive-aggressive ways.

That said, her feelings being valid doesn’t make her behavior acceptable—especially since she hasn’t communicated directly with you or your brother about why she feels this way. Instead, she lets her discomfort fester and takes subtle jabs at you, which is unfair.

2. Was Your Response Justified?

While you had every right to stand up for yourself, calling her “weird as f*ck” may have escalated the situation unnecessarily. That said, considering the way she was acting, your frustration is completely understandable.

• Direct confrontation was the right move, but the delivery could have been slightly more diplomatic (e.g., “I feel like you have an issue with me—did I do something?” instead of jumping straight to “You’re f*cking weird.”).
• Your laughter may have set her off – People who already feel insecure tend to get defensive when they feel dismissed.
• Your brother needs to step up – He acknowledged her behavior is off but still expects you to walk on eggshells. Instead of putting the emotional labor on you, he should be addressing why his girlfriend feels this way and setting boundaries if she continues to be rude.

3. The Bigger Picture: Control & Red Flags

If his girlfriend is trying to guilt him over being close with his sister, then that’s an issue. It can be as simple as trying to remove a partner from their family, or asking them to “choose” between their partner and others. That may be a little extreme at this point, but her response might be a sign of early ownership.

Some concerning patterns:
✅ Showing up unannounced & expecting immediate attention.
✅ Dismissing your sibling bond as “weird” instead of trying to understand it.
✅ Making herself the victim when called out, instead of addressing the issue.
✅ Saying she now “can’t come over” (manipulative overreaction).

If this behavior continues, your brother may find himself slowly compromising his existing relationships just to avoid conflict with her.

The internet had lot of thoughts on the matter.

Verdict: Soft NTA (But Could Have Handled It Better)

You’re not the asshole for telling her to stop her attitude, but you could have worded it in a way that wouldn’t have gone to new levels. Still, the impression I get from her reaction—and her unwillingness to offer any further explanation as to why she feels this way—is that she is the one in the wrong.

Your brother needs to be extremely honest with her about how she feels on the sibling side of things. If she really cannot take him having a close, decent relationship with his sister, then that’s a her problem, not your problem.

Moving Forward:

• Let your brother take the lead – He admitted you have a point, so he should be the one talking to her about why she feels this way.
• Stay civil, but don’t overextend yourself – If she’s not willing to meet you halfway, there’s no need to force a friendship.
• Keep an eye on how she influences your brother – If she starts making him feel guilty for spending time with you, that’s a red flag for manipulation.

At the end of the day, you and your brother have done nothing wrong—if she can’t accept his relationship with you, that’s her issue to work through.