Woman Refuses To Be Sister’s Bridesmaid: “You’ll Understand When It’s Your Wedding”
Many women feel a lot of pressure to look perfect on their wedding day, especially because of how important wedding photos are. A 2017 survey showed that for brides in the UK, looking good in pictures was the third biggest concern. This shows how much stress can come from trying to look flawless in every photo.
However, some brides take it too far. In one shocking example, a bride admitted she chose her bridesmaids based on looks. She picked women she called “uglier” than her, just to make sure no one would outshine her on the big day. This kind of behavior is often seen as going into “bridezilla” territory.
Her sister was so upset by this that she refused to be part of the bridal party. When others told her it wasn’t a big deal, she turned to the internet to get more opinions.
This story shows the rising pressure from bridal beauty standards, the impact of social media wedding photos, and how important it is to find balance when planning your dream day. For brides dealing with wedding day stress, it’s better to focus on confidence, hiring the best wedding makeup artist, and learning real wedding photography tips—instead of comparing appearances or hurting relationships.
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A woman decided to choose bridesmaids who wouldn’t overshadow her on her big day
Her sister disagreed with her and refused to be part of the bridal party
Choosing someone as a bridesmaid is a public declaration of friendship
Choosing your bridesmaids might seem like a simple task, but it’s actually one of the many stressful decisions a bride faces during wedding planning. In fact, 84% of brides say they feel stressed while planning their wedding and even on the big day itself, according to recent surveys.
The Knot’s Wedding Study 2023 found that the average bride chooses four bridesmaids. This makes the role feel special, almost like being part of an exclusive club. Naturally, some close friends may feel disappointed if they’re not asked to be part of the bridal party.
Before deciding who will stand by you on your big day, it’s important to think carefully. Experts in stress-free wedding planning agree that the best way to choose bridesmaids isn’t by looks or appearance. What truly matters is how close you are to the person, how reliable they are, and if they’ll bring joy and calm to your wedding.
As Cathryn Haight, editor at The Knot, writes, picking a bridesmaid is not just a casual choice—it’s a meaningful and sometimes emotional decision. It can even feel like a public declaration of true friendship, not just a part of your wedding checklist.
So when you’re thinking about how to choose bridesmaids, remember: it’s not about beauty, it’s about connection. Choose people who support you, help you stay calm, and make your wedding day truly unforgettable.
Bridesmaids should be friends who will offer support and reliability for the newlyweds on their big day
When you’re planning a wedding, choosing bridesmaids is one of the most personal and emotional decisions you’ll make. Experts in wedding planning often recommend starting with the people who know you best—your family members. In the U.S., the maid of honor is usually either the bride’s sister or her best friend. So, it makes sense to consider your siblings first.
To help brides with this choice, blogger Ty Alexander came up with a fun and helpful point system for picking bridesmaids:
- 10 points if the person is your sibling
- 4 points for your fiancé’s sibling
- 2 points for your best friend
- 5 points for anyone who simply brings you joy
If someone earns 7 to 14 points, they could be the perfect fit for your bridal party!
According to The Knot’s wedding planning tips, other things to think about include:
- Were you a bridesmaid in their wedding?
- Will you still be close 10 years from now?
- Can they offer emotional support when you need it?
The wedding venue il Tulipano gives a helpful warning: Don’t pick toxic or competitive friends. Stay away from those who might be jealous or don’t truly support you. Choose people who will bring happiness and peace to your big day.
One of the most important traits in a bridesmaid is reliability. Weddings involve a lot of planning, strict timelines, and communication. So, choose people who are good at replying to texts and emails, and who show up on time. These are the friends who will help you stay calm and organized.
Remember, bridesmaids don’t always have to be female. Modern wedding parties are more flexible. You can include your brother, male cousin, or a non-binary best friend. As The Knot says, “Include your favorite people, regardless of gender.”
In the end, a wedding is about celebrating your love story. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen should support your relationship, not just your wedding day. Wedding planner Oniki Hardtman of Oh Niki Occasions says it best: choose people “who are your best friends right now, and who support both you and your partner.”
People in the comments shamed the bride for her superficiality: “I would be extremely hurt”
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