Woman Torn as Boyfriend Learns ASL for Her Deaf Brother While Friends Call It Creepy

Assessing Jon’s Actions and the Friends’ Concerns

1. Thoughtfulness vs. Overstepping Boundaries

B) Obviously, it takes effort and other nice things to learn ASL (American Sign Language). It signifies respect for her communication needs of the brother and will help build a strong bond. Relationship and family experts say behavior like this suggests emotional intelligence and a wish to connect, not manipulation.

To OP’s friends, Jon can come off as overbearing because he is a little too familiar with OP’s family. Not understanding how much Trev cares about access and connection might cause them to read Jon’s behavior as performative or heavy-handed.

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2. Evaluating Intentions: Sincerity or Hidden Motives?

But based on the details she gave, the friends worried Jon was going to use all of this to get laid or use it for emotional manipulation of OP don’t make sense. To date, Jon has not pressured her for sex, nor taken advantage of her family ties. Instead it seems like he is genuinely interested in her life and her family.

While it is unclear whether Jon is taking ASL at all, the notion that he might would only add evidence supporting genuine rather than an ulterior motive professional interest given that the pursuit would be on his own time and not public eye. Psychology Today relationship experts further validating these meaningful gestures include invested thought into connected relationships that have mutual respect for one another, as such.

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3. Unpacking the Friends’ Reactions

Considering OP had another friend in the post saying something similar, they might just be poorly yoking their experiences into OPs life but either way OP should know they did not a wrong thing. Part of their skepticism may be protective, given that Jon is OP’s first boyfriend. Though their intentions may be good, horrible outcomes influencing the way OP decides about the situation.

Friends’ advice can be the best or worst—whether to heed it, and how or how not to interpret it, are perennial questions, which may turn on whether your friends’ concerns are properly based in particular red flags in Jon’s behavior, or more on their history with someone like Jon that should be neglected.

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4. How OP Can Proceed

1. Reflect on Jon’s Actions and Patterns:
   Consider how Jon has treated OP and her family since the beginning of their relationship. If his actions consistently align with kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness, it’s unlikely his behavior is manipulative.
2. Have an Open Conversation with Jon:
   If OP still feels uncertain, discussing her feelings directly with Jon can help provide clarity. For example:“I’ve noticed how much effort you’re putting into learning ASL for Trev, and it means a lot to me. What inspired you to do this?”
3. Set Boundaries (if Necessary):
   If Jon’s actions ever feel overwhelming or too fast-paced, OP can set boundaries to ensure the relationship develops at a comfortable pace. For example, she could suggest spacing out family visits to balance their time together.
4. Reevaluate Friendships:
   While it’s important to value friends’ input, OP should also consider whether their advice is supportive or overly critical. Surrounding herself with friends who encourage her happiness while raising genuine concerns (when necessary) will lead to more balanced perspectives.

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The young woman provided more details in the comments