‘AITA for saying I’d cheat on my wife for more money and a better job?’

I (23F) brought my girlfriend (21F) to an early Thanksgiving dinner at my family’s house and we were told to bring board games. OP bought a few, including The Game of Life, wanting to impress. OP and family are big on immersion while playing board games treating it as an improv exercise. But OP forgot to mention this to their girlfriend.

While playing the game, OP was on mission as a pathetic French man, and joked about cheating on their “pink peg spouse” for more dosh and a better job – all in character. OP’s girlfriend took great offense to OP’s brother’s wife making similar jokes, insisting that this is the real way OP feels in real life. During the ride home, she got to the point of crying so badly that OP had to pull over to a gas station. And there, she questioned (with all sarcasm, of course) if OP would “cheat on her” over some snacks. She has since been giving OP the silent treatment.

A few of OP’s pals feel she’s overreacting, others thinks OP has crossed a line Now, OP wonders about whether they are really at fault or not and how to salvage things with their girlfriend.

Read for more info Reddit

At the heart of this conflict is a disconnect between OP’s intent and their girlfriend’s perception of the situation. The issue isn’t necessarily the joke itself but the fact that OP’s girlfriend took it at face value, interpreting it as a reflection of OP’s real-world morals rather than as an in-character moment.

1. The Roleplay vs. Reality Divide
   OP is used to roleplaying and improv within games, but their girlfriend was unaware of this tradition. Without that context, the statement about cheating could understandably feel like a red flag. Research in psychology suggests that humor and roleplay can be misinterpreted if participants don’t share the same frame of reference (McGraw & Warren, 2010). In relationships, what one person sees as an obvious joke may come across as genuine to another, especially if it touches on deep-seated insecurities.
2. Trust and Relationship Security
   OP’s girlfriend’s reaction—escalating from initial frustration to complete withdrawal—suggests that she may have underlying concerns about trust and fidelity. Studies indicate that individuals with anxious attachment styles are more likely to perceive ambiguous situations as threats to the relationship (Cassidy & Shaver, 2016). If OP’s girlfriend has any past experiences with cheating (either personally or from observing others), this joke may have struck a nerve.
3. Cultural Sensitivity & the Accent Issue
   OP was confused about why their girlfriend found the French accent offensive, given that OP is fully French. While it’s unlikely that OP meant harm, people can still take issue with exaggerated or stereotypical portrayals of accents. Her discomfort could stem from a broader perspective on cultural mockery rather than personal offense. This miscommunication adds another layer to the argument.
4. How to Fix It
   OP’s girlfriend needs reassurance that the joke was purely in character and does not reflect OP’s real-life values. A calm, face-to-face conversation could help, where OP explicitly states:
   • “I understand why that joke upset you, and I’m really sorry. It was part of the roleplaying we do in my family, but I should have explained that beforehand.”
   • “I would never cheat on you in real life. That joke wasn’t a reflection of my real feelings, and I regret that it hurt you.”
   • “Let’s talk about why it bothered you so much—was it about the joke itself, or is there something deeper that we should address?”

If the silent treatment continues, giving her space while expressing a willingness to talk could be the best approach. However, if her response remains passive-aggressive (e.g., constantly bringing up “Would you cheat on me for [insert item]?”), that may indicate a deeper issue in the relationship beyond just this incident.

Reddit Comments:

OP tried to be funny and in character but not realizing that out of the context you get how it looks. Instead, it helped fuel the misunderstanding that the girlfriend fell victim to, albeit indirectly since the person who should have warned her about the nature of the game — him — had no bad intentions. But using silent treatment and snide sarcasm to accuse his girlfriend of stealing something she even returned to him is not the best way to resolve a dispute.

If there is intent behind the interaction that is ambiguous at best or not intended to be suggestive at worst, direct and empathetic communication should occur to clarify intention, rebuild trust, and most importantly, establish where each partner is coming from. If one joke can shatter the trust between you, then perhaps the issue is more about your insecurities or past experiences.