AITA for refusing an AirTag?

Aggressive Guy Wants To “Track” 8YO Son As He Goes On Trip With Ex, Folks Warn Her To Be Cautious

In many child custody cases, divorced couples want to move on and avoid contact with their ex-spouse. However, when co-parenting children, this becomes very difficult—especially if the relationship involved domestic violence or emotional abuse.

In one such case, a mother is still facing problems with her aggressive ex-husband. He is trying to control her by demanding that she place an Apple AirTag in their 8-year-old son’s shoe during a family trip. This tracking request raises serious family law concerns and shows how co-parenting issues can become toxic.

A Reddit user, Historical-Safe-7262, commented that this is just a manipulative way for the father to keep controlling his ex-wife, even after their divorce. The mother is standing her ground and refusing to give in to this parental control tactic.

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Co-parenting can turn into a nightmare after divorce, especially when there’s a violent history between a couple

The poster is going on a trip to Europe with her 8-year-old son, but her ex-husband insists on putting an AirTag in the kid’s shoe

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She refuses to listen to him as she feels like he is just using the kid as an excuse to spy on and control her

Today’s story may seem short, but if you read between the lines, it reveals a very serious child custody problem. The original poster (OP) is a mother planning a trip with her 8-year-old son, Jack. However, her ex-husband, Richard, is causing unnecessary drama. He insists that she hide an Apple AirTag in Jack’s shoe, just so he can track their child on his phone.

This demand has created major co-parenting conflict and made OP question herself. Even worse, Richard refuses to let her register the AirTag on her own phone—clearly showing a need for parental surveillance and control. Considering that he will be 10 hours away, with a 7-hour time difference, many agree that this demand is extreme and invasive.

Things get more troubling when OP reveals that Richard has a history of domestic abuse. Due to his violent behavior, all child handovers must happen at the police station. This alone raises serious family law concerns about safety and control.

Despite his behavior, Richard legally cannot stop the trip or force her to track Jack using the AirTag. But OP suspects this is just another attempt at controlling her life. When she shared her experience online, other users were alarmed and agreed—this is not about child safety, it’s about spying and manipulation.

Some commenters asked if she was traveling to a dangerous area, but OP confirmed the destination is completely safe. That made it clear—Richard’s actions are not about protection, but about power.

Multiple studies have confirmed a strong link between controlling behavior and a higher risk of physical aggression. In this situation, the fact that law enforcement is already involved speaks volumes about how serious Richard’s actions are. When police stations become the only safe place for child custody exchanges, it’s a major domestic violence red flag.

According to research, violence is often used as a tool for power and control, especially in abusive relationships. Richard may be feeling a lack of control now that the mother is taking their son on a trip without his involvement. That feeling of powerlessness might be fueling his obsessive need to track their child using an AirTag.

Experts also warn that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are more likely to show violent and manipulative behavior. These individuals use emotional abuse and mind games to make others question their own worth. That’s exactly what OP experienced—after constant pressure from her ex, she began doubting her decisions and authority as a mother.

Reddit users were quick to point out that this behavior is more than just co-parenting conflict—it’s narcissistic abuse. Many warned OP to stay alert, saying her ex might secretly place an AirTag on their child during future visits. Others raised serious child safety concerns, suggesting that if Richard knows their location, he could try something dangerous—even stage an “accident.”

And honestly, we agree with those concerns. When someone has a history of violence, you can’t take any chances. Protective parenting, especially in the face of toxic co-parenting dynamics, is crucial.

So we ask—if you were in OP’s place, how would you handle this? Would you take legal steps or rely on family court protection? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

After hearing about the ex’s aggressive past, netizens said that the AirTag sounds like a big NO-NO, and asked her to be cautious

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