Man asks live-in girlfriend to ‘find somewhere else’ to practice singing, ‘she’s always auditioning.’ AITA?

The situation underscores the difficulties of balance in common spaces for different professional requirements. Your girlfriend is an up-and-coming performer, so she needs to practice her singing on a daily basis, and this is something that she simply cannot avoid. A vocalist needs space and volume, and you have to be doing set rehearsals leading up to that day, especially for roles with power house songs like a Wicked song. But your work-from-home setting requires a peaceful place that is best for focusing and work calls, which her singing will only ruin. Neither of your needs is unreasonable; both are antithetical inside a small flat.

Exploring Alternatives

Outsource your Singing Practice: Most cities have rehearsal studios or practice spaces where you can rent for a period of time to really sing. For as little as $10-$20 an hour, you can find a great sounding room or studio that is soundproofed, and has an environment that is suitable for recording performers. For those on a tight budget, community centers, local schools or a church can sometimes provide inexpensive or free rehearsal space. This is something that your girlfriend can do so she won’t have to run the risk of ruining your work environment.

Co-Working Spaces For You: In the same way, co-working spaces are helpful, which let you move out and free you from all the noise and help you to focus and work well. Most spaces have hourly or daily passes available and a few of them are entirely focused on flexible remote working hours. If she sings in a space on a regular basis, you could schedule around using an area during that time.

Apartment Sound Solutions: Not the best setup for an apartment, but sound treatment with acoustic panels or portable vocal booths can at least help reduce sound from leaking out of your recording space. These investments may tide you over until you both discover a better fit in housing.

Negotiation Tracks and Precedents

Mutual compromise, obviously, is key in cohabitation scenarios. There is no “correct” answer here, legally or practically, but the way to keep the relationship alive is through collaborative problem solving. Studies on shared living behaviors indicate that couples who engage in conflict resolution through communication and negotiating decisions together tend to be more satisfied in their relationships. For example:

The Journal of Family Psychology makes a case for equitable solutions, in which neither party feels like they are taking the “extra burden,” which promotes stronger partnerships.

In many case examples found in shared living forums, having specific time periods set aside as each person’s time is a must be a key element in successful living arrangements.

Alternating times for her practice and your work, or splitting the bill on co-working, or practicing rooms may put you on the road to compromise.

Here’s what top commenters had to say about this one: