Dad Dumps Parenting Duties On New Wife So He Can Enjoy His “Hobby,” She’s Done 

Being a stepparent is not easy. The role comes with a lot of challenges and uncertainty. Every decision needs to be made carefully because one wrong step can hurt the relationship with stepchildren. At the same time, stepparents also want to feel accepted and valued as part of the new family.

In one real-life situation, a woman who was already managing most of the household duties felt uncomfortable when her husband decided to leave his two sons with her overnight. He did this so he could enjoy his personal hobby, leaving her to handle everything alone. When she shared her concerns, he said she was being unfair. Feeling unheard, she turned to the internet for unbiased parenting advice and stepparent support.

To help understand this situation better, we spoke with blended family experts including Brittney Phillips, a family coach, Susan Haworth, a certified step parenting counselor, and Amy Ambrozich, a blended family parenting coach. They offered valuable insights on how stepparents can manage responsibilities and improve family dynamics through relationship counseling and mental health support.

Stepparents might not even notice how many responsibilities they shoulder while being focused on family well-being

Like this stepmom, until she decided to draw a line when her husband wanted to pile up more on her

It’s unfair to overload stepparents with duties and expect them to become the ‘default parent’

In blended families, stepparents often focus on building strong bonds with their stepchildren and creating a healthy home environment. But without realizing it, they can slowly take on most of the household and parenting duties. Experts in blended family support say this isn’t fair and can lead to stress and emotional burnout.

“It’s not fair to expect anyone—stepparent or not—to automatically become the ‘default parent’ without a conversation,” says blended family coach Brittney Phillips. “It happens a lot, especially when life gets busy and families are just trying to keep up. Stepparents can be supportive and loving, but they shouldn’t be expected to do everything without being asked or agreeing to it.”

Phillips suggests that couples in blended families need to have open and honest talks. “What works best is when both partners sit down and figure out what each person can realistically do. Talk about what’s manageable, not just what’s assumed or expected.”

She also reminds us that it’s completely okay for stepparents to change their minds. “Maybe they agreed to school pickups or helping with homework, but later realize it’s too much. That doesn’t make them selfish—it makes them human. Blended families need flexibility and understanding. Everyone is learning, and the key is to stay united as a team.”

Stepparenting counselor Susan Haworth agrees. She explains that many women—both moms and stepmoms—still take on the majority of childcare and housework, even when they work full-time jobs.

“Stepmothers face many of the same struggles as biological mothers. We tend to ‘overfunction,’ meaning we take on more than we should,” Haworth explains. “Even when both partners work, women usually do the lion’s share of the housework. And for stepmoms, there’s the added pressure of caring for children who aren’t biologically theirs. This can often make them feel more like nannies than parents.”

This is why family counseling, relationship coaching, and mental health support can be so important for blended families. Open communication, shared responsibilities, and emotional support help create a more balanced and peaceful home life.

The stepmom responded to some things commenters brought up