Controversial Massage Stories That Split The Internet

A massage can be a fantastic experience. An expert massage therapist can help you with backaches, stress, and tension. But unfortunately, not all massages end up being as great as they sound in theory, and can end in a disagreement. Some people whose trips to the spa resulted in even more stress tell their stories and ask for second opinions on the AmItheA**hole subreddit.

From having problems finding a massage therapist to charging a family member for a professional massage, there are many times where massages become controversial. Who is in the right, and who is in the wrong?

Stories have been edited for length and clarity.

AITA For Having My Cats Massage My Mom?

From Redditor u/dogittjsjajtthrwawy:

My mom works a physical labor-intensive job, and she has back soreness. She’ll ask me to massage her back. I always have said yes cause I love my mom, and she works so hard it’s the least I could do.

Lately, it’s been taking a long time because she needs a lot of care. I want to get her to a professional or a chiropractor one day as a treat, but I’m saving up. It’s a little tiring, and I know she goes through more tiring things than me, but my arms still hurt.

There’s also this blanket my two cats go crazy over. They knead on it like crazy. I thought it’d be a funny test to see if they’d knead my mom’s back. I told my mom when she asked for a massage that I wanted to try something. I put the blanket on her back and brought my cats over. They immediately went apesh*t and kneaded the sh*t out of my mom’s back. She said it’s one the best massages she has gotten.

My older brother was like, “WTF is going on.” and I explained it to him. He goes, “Really? You’re too lazy to massage your mom’s back, so you do this weird stuff?” I agreed with the weirdness, but I don’t think it’s bad to do this, considering the cats love it, and my mom said it’s better than my massages so…

AITA For Charging A Family Member For A Massage Treatment?

From Redditor u/lady_mordor:

I have been working as a professional massage therapist for 3 years to help my husband pay the bills. Yesterday, his aunt, who is in town, rang me up and asked if I could come and give her a 2-hour relaxation full-body massage, plus scrubbing, at the hotel she was staying at because the long flight made her joints ache and she could not sleep.

After the massage, though, I expected her to pay me, and she said, “What? You won’t charge the family, right? I am (husband’s name) aunt.” I said politely that it is my job and I make money from it, so family or not, she still has to pay for the whole treatment. She huffed but gave me the money anyway. I said thank you and left. For consideration, the rate I gave her was already 30% off my usual rate, because yeah, she’s family.

This morning, though, my husband told me over breakfast that the aunt had called MIL, who then called him to complain about “that stingy wife of his who charged family for a little massage.” I was really upset. I told my husband if his aunt wants a free 2-hour-long massage treatment, she can ask her husband or one of her sons to do it for her. He said maybe I should have charged her half my usual rate. I said no and told him his aunt was entitled, and I could not believe he sided with her on this. He did not say anything after that and just left without finishing his breakfast.

I am home now and he will be coming home within an hour. I’ve been thinking of apologizing to him, but I still think his aunt should not have expected a free massage from me. Or am I wrong?

AITA For Telling My Wife That I’ll Be Using The Massage Chair After Coming Home?

From Redditor u/Prestigious-Ninja664:

I (27F) work a physically taxing job, and since my wife (25F) left her job a year ago, I’ve been working double shifts. She is a SAHM of a 1-year-old and a 2-year-old.

A few months back, I decided to buy a massage chair. My feet hurt like crazy because I’m on my feet all day long. My wife told me that I cannot use the joint account money to buy it because we’re short on money. So, I used my savings to buy the chair. It was on a 50% off sale so it wasn’t very expensive.

Since I got it, it has been a very big relief, and I find it relaxing to just sit there for a while after coming home before doing childcare and chores.

However, for the past 2 weeks or so, my wife has been hogging the chair in the evenings and says that she’s tired after taking care of the kids all day. I was fine with it, but I asked her to use it before I came home or while I was doing the childcare and chores so that I could catch a small break after coming home. She got mad and said I shouldn’t be so selfish about it. She said she’d never again use it and went off into the room.

AITA?

P.S. I use it for 15 minutes immediately after coming home. I do the chores and childcare after taking a rest for that time.

Edit: I’m a woman too. We are a same-sex couple.

AITA For Getting My Husband A Deep Tissue Massage For His Birthday?

From a former Redditor:

This just happened, and I (30F) am FUMING. It’s my husband’s (32M) birthday. I’ve been so excited about his birthday because we recently decided to get each other presents. Before, we would acknowledge the day but not officially give presents.

So a week ago I asked him what he wanted, and he replied, “I don’t know.” So, one night, I saw an Instagram ad for a chiropractic clinic. It was a video of a deep-tissue massage. I sent it to him like, “Hey, this looks cool,” and he replied, “Wow, OMG, I would give anything to have a massage. I’ve been needing one for so long.” Then, cue his “I need a massage” comments every day for the next 3 days. So I decided to seek out a really good remedial massage therapist and book him a 1 hr massage that cost me $100. I was really happy with this gift. I thought he would appreciate it, and it’s a useful gift.

The next few days, I kept telling him I got him something, and he kept asking what. I wanted to surprise him. He kept saying, “I don’t like surprises. Just tell me, in case it’s something I don’t want.” But, in my head, I’m thinking, “You 100% want this!” because he’s been going on nonstop about how much he wants a massage. Well, how wrong I was.

So it’s the morning of his birthday. I’m so excited. I told him I booked him a deep tissue massage for 6 pm, and the following is our conversation:

Him: What, are you serious? Did you already pay for it?

Me: Yes, it’s with this great therapist too.

Him: Well, I’m not going. I don’t want it. I tell you to tell me what you got because I knew you’d do something like this. You’d get something I don’t want.

My mind is blown! I blacked out for a bit because all I’d heard for days was how much he desperately needed a massage.

Me: But haven’t you been saying for weeks how much you need a massage?

Him: Yes, but it doesn’t mean I’ll pay for one.

Me: You’re not paying. I am.

Him: Well, you’ve wasted your money because I’m not going. I swear I’m not going. I don’t want it.

If I could put my anger and frustration into words right now. I feel absolutely blown away by what happened. He messaged me saying I’ve ruined the day because of getting him this gift.

Am I the a**hole? I think I might be for not telling him beforehand that I was planning to get him this. But aren’t gifts meant to be surprises? I genuinely thought I hit the nail on the head for this one. I’m very frustrated and confused.

AITA If I Give A Bad Review To A Massage Therapist Who Yelled At Me But Apologized When I Told Her I Would Complain?

From Redditor u/EquivalentJacket7:

Hi everyone. I (33F) (live in England, but am a person of color if it matters at all) had body pain today, so I went to a local Thai massage for a deep tissue full body massage today.

It cost £50/$56/€58. I can only afford it once a month. This place had good reviews, and all reviews mentioned the names of the two Thai therapists. The reviews stated that the therapist listens well to what you need, which is why I thought it would be good. When my massage started, the therapist kept focusing on the same area for more than 15-20 minutes, so it began to hurt and repeat, so I asked her if she could move to my back or the other leg.

She yelled at me and said she knew her job, and I was confusing her and shouldn’t tell her what to do. I told her politely it was my body and it was hurting, so I would appreciate other parts getting attention too, to which she continued being rude and telling me she knows her job and she’s trained. This spoilt the rest of the massage experience for me as I couldn’t enjoy it at all, knowing I’d just been yelled at.

I wish I would’ve asked for a different therapist, but I didn’t because I was afraid. At the end, I asked her name, to which she asked me why I needed the info. I told her I saw all reviews had the names of the therapists. Anyway, I told her I would write a review on how she yelled at me and spoilt my experience and that I felt stressed and didn’t feel relaxed because of it.

She apologized and wouldn’t leave the room (for me to change into my clothes) until I promised I wouldn’t write a review. She told me her boss would fire her if he read any negative reviews (there are only 20 5-star reviews on Google). I told her about how this experience was a waste of my money and that I felt stressed instead of relaxed, to which she said sorry a few times, which made me feel bad for her. But I also felt bad for myself. WIBTA for going ahead and writing a review without naming her?

AITA For Not Giving My Girlfriend’s Sister A Massage?

From Redditor u/dontreallywanttoaita:

My GF (25F) and I (23M) have been dating for about 18 months now and living together for just over 8. Her apartment is closer to both of our works. Her sister (S, 34F) moved in 2 months ago as she’s pregnant. Her husband is in the army, and the rest of the family is in a different state.

My girlfriend is a nurse and has been working some pretty long hours. To take the load off my girlfriend, I’ve been pretty much doing all the cooking, washing, and cleaning.

I have a lot of work to do, so I’m just pretty much keeping to myself and not really trying to inconvenience anyone. I eat around every 3 hours, so whenever I eat, I also make a little something for her.

So the problem is that whenever my girlfriend gets off from work, she always ends up having to give her sister a massage, which I suspect is because she’s pregnant, but I don’t know. My girlfriend and I got into a sort of whisper argument where she called me an AH, as I should help S out when she’s in pain.

Her reasons for:

AH move not helping a pregnant woman when she’s in pain

Girlfriend is stressed and tired from having to work long hours and would rather spend what little time she has relaxing

I give my girlfriend massages when she’s sore, so what’s the difference

And I give good massages (mom was a massage therapist)

My reason:

It’s a bit weird giving someone you’re not close to a massage

We kind of agreed to continue the conversation in the morning when she wakes for her shift, but I need to know whether I’m in the wrong or not, so that’s why I’m here.

AITA For Bringing My Daughter With Me To A Massage?

From Redditor u/LowAlternative7:

My ex and I split custody of my daughter (12) so that we each have her one week on and one week off. This was supposed to be my off week, so my boyfriend prepaid for a massage for me so I could relax.

My ex ended up pulling out of his custody time at the last minute so he could go to a work conference. Because it was so last minute, I couldn’t reschedule the massage and would lose out of the payment. I told my daughter I could either pick her up from school an hour later (they have study hall for kids whose parents can’t get them immediately), or she could come and do homework quietly while I got my massage. She chose the latter.

I picked her up from school, we swung through a drive-through to get her some snacks so she wouldn’t be hungry, and we went to the spa. The receptionist guy told us that my daughter could not sit alone in the waiting room, so I brought her into the room with me. She covered her eyes until I was covered on the table, and then just sat quietly and did work. The massage therapist told me I wasn’t the first to do this, and it was no big deal.

However, when my ex found out that I brought our daughter to the massage and had her in the room with me, he got very angry. He told me that I was inappropriate and selfish to put my daughter in that position and that I should have just canceled the appointment and asked him to reimburse me. My daughter was not bothered by the experience, so I think he’s overreacting.

Am I the a**hole for bringing my daughter to the massage?

AITA For Charging A Client Full Price For A Massage After A Poop Incident?

From Redditor u/RMTeeforme:

Warning: this post may be gross.

I’m a licensed massage therapist. I currently work at a spa and pay “rent” for my massage room. Before treatment, I ask what areas they want to focus on. This client (F30s?) expressed she was having some pain in her lower back and glute (butt) muscles. I left the room and told her to dress down to her comfort level.

This client booked a 1-hour massage. About 15 minutes into the massage, I tell her that I’m going to pull back the sheet and start working on her lower back.

Now, the gross part. The client wasn’t wearing underwear, and when I pulled back the sheet, there was brown liquid mush around her butt crack. This wasn’t just a skid mark or not wiping very well, but the sheet now had what appeared to be poop on it. Runny yet sticky at the same time. The sheet was gross.

I’ve never been in this situation before. I didn’t want to embarrass her. I couldn’t continue the massage, it would be a health hazard, and it was smeared all over the sheet and some of her lower back. I said to her, “Oh, I’m sorry. I think you might need to go to the washroom and clean up a little. I’ll give you a few minutes, and let me know when you’re ready.”

I left the room and heard her go into the washroom. 15 minutes have gone by, and she hasn’t come back out, so I knock on the door and ask if she’s okay. She responded, “Yes, I’ll be out in a minute.” But that minute turned into another 15 minutes, so she was in there for a half hour! She came back out, and I continued for 15 minutes. When I finished, I left the room for her to get dressed and met her up at the counter to pay.

This is where I’m wondering if IATA. I charged her the full amount for the massage because she booked the one-hour time slot, and I had another client after her, so I couldn’t exactly run late. She got really mad, saying she should pay half the price! I explained that I was sorry, but the hour was booked for her, and it would be the same if somebody was late. They would still have to pay the full price of the time slot that they booked.

She started yelling at me at the front desk, saying how unprofessional I was. She eventually did pay, and later that day, there was a review that she posted saying how I ripped her off and charged her more money than the actual massage.

My partner said that I should have given the poor girl a break. She was ill, and I should have charged her half of the amount, even if it meant I was losing money. My coworker that I discussed this with said any other professional, like a counselor, would be charging the full amount, that’s just what professionals do, and I’m NTA.

So Reddit, AITA?

AITA For Not Shaving My Legs Before Going To The Spa?

From Redditor u/spathroaway:

I’m a woman who hasn’t shaved my legs in years. There’s no political or ethical statement there, it’s just a pain in the a**, and I don’t like doing it.

I’m staying with my family over the holidays (I live in another city), so I decided to have a little spa day. This spa, in particular, has a little bath/relaxation area you can take advantage of before getting a massage. It’s gorgeous and has a “cycle” they recommend you do: sauna > ice bath > jacuzzi > ice shower, repeat.

I had a wonderful time and spent the entire time either soaking in water or being massaged.

When I got back home, my sister smiled and asked, “So, how does it feel to have shaved legs?” I thought she was joking, so I laughed and said, “You tell me!”

She stopped smiling and asked if I seriously went to a spa with hairy legs. I said yes, why wouldn’t I? She then told me that it was unsanitary and embarrassing and that I probably made a lot of people, including my massage therapist, really uncomfortable.

I told her I didn’t care and left the room to avoid escalating things.

The more I think about it though, I wonder if she was right. It’s true that men don’t shave when they go to the spa (if ever), but I wonder if I should have shaven to make things easier for the people around me.

Was I the a**hole?

AITA For Not Wanting To Give Massages?

From Redditor u/AphroditeSole:

I hate giving massages. I don’t like doing it, and it hurts my hands and always makes me feel all tight and tired after. I’ve heard a lot of times that if your hands are hurting during a massage, you’re doing it wrong, but I’ve tried a lot of things, and I suspect my genetic joint hyper-mobility is contributing to the pain. I have terrible joints, but that’s another story.

My boyfriend likes getting massages and complains about back and neck pain all the time. I bought him a nice shoulder massager that heats up and adjustable free weights, as he said working out helps his back. I rarely give him massages, but he’s always hinting and offering me massages. I have scoliosis, but I don’t want to get massages from him as that’s not his job. When I have back pain, I use the massager or my space heater or exercise, and I do stretches every day.

Tonight, my boyfriend offered to give me a massage, and I said I was good. When he asked why, I told him I don’t like giving massages as it hurts my hands and is a lot of work for me, and I figure it’s not that fun for him either, so I don’t want him to have to give any. He didn’t like this and is upset I don’t want to get or more importantly give any massages.

My other reasoning is I am not a massage therapist. His work would cover PT, as would mine, and I don’t understand why I am responsible for fixing his back pain. It would be one thing if it was easy for me and I liked it, but I don’t. I don’t expect massages from him, and if I want them, I’ll go to a massage therapist, and I don’t understand why it’s unreasonable to expect the same from him.

I am fine giving back scratches or head scratches if it were an intimacy thing, anything that doesn’t require a ton of effort working tough guy muscles with my tiny weak hands and wrists. Am I being reasonable here, or am I just a selfish a**hole?

AITA For Walking Out On A Massage After Hearing The Therapist Say She Didn’t Want To Do It?

From Redditor u/AnonymousSolyanka:

Last Saturday morning, I was feeling spontaneous and decided to see if there were any massage appointments available that day at the place I usually frequent. There was one with “Tina” at 4 pm, so I booked it online.

I showed up, and Tina met me in the waiting room. She didn’t greet me as effusively as the other therapists usually did and wasn’t smiling, but I didn’t think much of how flat she seemed until she led me into the room, did her intro/explanation, and left me to get undressed.

Another massage therapist, “Jenny” passed Tina in the hall, and I heard her say something like, “Hey, you’re still here? I thought you were going home early?” To which Tina said, “Ugh, somebody booked at the last minute.”

Tina kept complaining about me, saying I took her last spot for the day, which she didn’t know about until she got in. She then flat-out said she didn’t want to do it but would push through since I was her last client.

At that point, I put my clothes back on and walked out without saying anything except “Excuse me” as I passed Tina and Jenny in the hall, then went to the receptionist to check out. I flat-out said I wouldn’t be paying for the massage, that I was uncomfortable with Tina, and that I was leaving.

When Jenny and Tina came out to see what was going on, the receptionist ducked her head into the small office behind the desk and summoned the manager. Tina tried to smooth everything over and said, “Oh, it’s okay, she can cancel if she has to leave,” but I was pretty pissed at that point, so I said, “No, I’m canceling because I heard you say I took your last appointment and you don’t want to do it, so now you don’t have to.”

The manager looked pretty surprised, and Tina looked pretty embarrassed, but I just waved my hands and said, “I’m leaving. I don’t want any drama about this. Just please don’t charge my card, or I’ll dispute it with my bank.” When I left, I could see through the large glass windows that the manager was getting pretty animated talking to Tina, who looked unhappy.

I told the story to one of my friends and she said that it was pretty crappy of me to throw Tina under the bus. That I should have just pretended not to hear Tina, and gotten the massage anyway, or just let her lie about me having to leave so her manager didn’t get mad. Said friend and I decided to ask this forum for a verdict. So, Reddit, AITA?

AITA For Scheduling My Boyfriend With A Male Massage Therapist?

From Redditor u/Kittenmittens12345:

My boyfriend and I planned on getting massages together. A male and female massage therapist were available, so I booked him (21M) with the male and me (21F) with the female.

When I tell him about this, he says he will never let a man massage him. He explains that it’s because massages are inherently sexual. I believe massages are purely therapeutic, so I try to discuss this and understand why he believes they are sexual and, if he believes this, why it’s then acceptable to even get a massage from the opposite sex in the first place since we are in a monogamous relationship.

He says my opinion is irrational, and I’m making it up just to argue: massages are somewhat sexual and that I’m wrong for pushing for something he is uncomfortable with and turning it into an argument. I kept trying to explain. I just wanted to understand his logic and hear his reasoning, kind of like a debate. I even offered to switch therapists. He then says to just cancel his massage and that this is too much trouble. I’m still going to go without him even after all this.

AITA For Refusing To Get A Professional Massage If The Therapist Is Male?

From Redditor u/its_sydward:

I (24F) am trying to schedule a spa day as I have some gift cards to use. I call the spa to schedule my package and after setting it up I requested to only have females for my massage and facial. The receptionist got snappy and told me the massage I wanted was only provided by their male therapist. I told her I wouldn’t be comfortable with that and I would have to look at the other packages where I could have a female massage therapist.

She quickly got defensive, explaining that “there is nothing wrong with having a male massage therapist” and that “he has been in the business for over 20 years, etc.”

I’m sure he’s great at his job, and I’m sure he’s a nice guy with no bad intentions! But I am paying a lot of money to be relaxed and comfortable, and being naked while a man rubs me down is not my idea of a stress-free experience. She said I was being sexist towards male massage therapists, and I told her I would be calling back to reschedule with a female.

Am I being an a**hole for refusing to use a male massage therapist??

AITA For Telling My Friend That Her Lying To Her Husband For Foot Massages Was Unhealthy?

From Redditor u/fightwithfriend:

I’m 6 months pregnant, and I was talking to my friend who has two kids. She asked how I was doing, and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, said I should get my husband to rub them.

I told her he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of, “So what if he doesn’t like foot rubs? You’re pregnant, he should be giving them.” I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while.

She said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that, and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not, but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it.

She then got mad and said it was not unhealthy. She was just doing a little harmless acting, and not judging her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet (which she asked how I was doing in the first place).

I told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge, jury, and executioner on what a healthy relationship is (I don’t know that the phrase really works here, but that’s what she said) and to stop being so self-righteous.

I’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning because she’s not usually so… combative. So, I think I must have crossed a line.

AITA For Still Massaging My Kids?

From Redditor u/massagelady912:

I’m a CMT, and I’ve been practicing massage for over 20 years. I currently work in massage therapy at a local spa. I also have two kids, a 17-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. I massage both of them regularly. On special occasions (customary, they always get one on their birthday), when they’re feeling stressed or going through tough times, when they report any stiffness in their body, etc. They love it, and I love my kids, so I’m glad I can make them feel good in the best way I can.

Recently, when my neighbor was visiting, she overheard me talking to my daughter about this, and seemed a little weirded out by it, then asking, “You massage your kids?!” I explained yes, and then she asked (once my daughter left the room) if it was an actual full massage with them naked except for a towel. I thought it honestly wasn’t her business, but I told her yes, I give the same message I give to my clients. (One side note: unless it’s one of those quick ones you can get at the mall in a chair, I believe you should always take all your clothes off for a massage, otherwise you’re only cheating yourself. The buttocks have the largest concentration of nerves on your body and thus are frequently the highlight of the massage. I wouldn’t ever get a massage myself that didn’t include that area unless it was specifically to address one part of the body that needed work.)

My “style” is also based on long interrupted strokes, and having underwear or a bra in the way doesn’t go well with it. I just move the towel to the side I’m currently not working on and then move it back, doing the other side. I’ve given thousands of messages this way. That said, once my kids started developing. I gave them the option of leaving any clothes on if they weren’t comfortable… and both declined, saying my massages were perfect.

She then made some comments about how weird it is that a teenage girl would be OK with her mother seeing her breasts, which I thought was pretty weird. I offer to drape the breasts of female clients, but do not if they decline (this is not legally required in my state), and always decline it when getting a massage myself. My daughter also has declined. I massage the area around the breasts, but not the nipples.

While I can see out of context that someone would see a mother rubbing her kids naked except for a single towel would be weird, it’s still entirely desexualized. It’s a legitimate therapeutic practice that they enjoy, and that I enjoy, and seeing the smiles on their faces and feeling the happiness and relief of my loved ones is always a big pick me up as well. Do you think it’s weird or inappropriate?

AITA For Offering A Topless Upgrade To My Massages?

From Redditor u/Cmtnude:

Both my roommate and I are CMTs who met in massage school. We also used to work together in a very small office location, but now only I do while she works at a spa. I’m still self-employed. We both had to not work a few months and live off the expanded unemployment, and I delivered for Postmates for a bit, but we’re allowed to be open again here with additional sanitation procedures.

I read about another CMT in my state who offered to do massages in lingerie, topless, and nude for an additional fee because doing so is not specifically prohibited or illegal in my state and got the idea I could do this too, for extra money. I do NOT provide “happy endings,” I just give a normal massage, less dressed or naked (except for a face mask, the only legally required thing to wear now). So I’ve been giving such massages while following all other procedures, including the mask requirements for both me and my clients. My earnings have notably increased, although not at the level they were last year, but I was suffering before even allowed to be open.

My roommate is furious. She said I’m ruining her reputation by proxy even though she doesn’t work with me anymore and is running the reputation of our work entirely. I’m telling her that I’m doing nothing illegal, and it’s not her business, literally. She seems disgusted at any CMT who does this and finds it unprofessional. She’s upset one she lives with does this and is now saying if I still do this next year, she possibly won’t renew her lease with me.

So am I an a**hole? I accept she has a right to her opinion but it’s still not her choice to make.

AITA For Telling Someone They Are Too Fat For A Massage?

From Redditor u/Helpful-Trifle-4354:

I (25M) work as a masseur for a small spa and have been doing so for three years. This week, I had to do something I have never done before, and that is turn someone away. What happened was that we had a group booking for four people. As per usual, I grabbed the questionnaire and waiver for the client I was going to take. When I saw her, I became concerned as she was clearly over 400 lbs. Aside from the weight capacity, I wasn’t sure if she would have been able to fit on the table, but I put that concern aside.

For the sake of safety, I decided to weigh her, with the result being she was 465 lbs. With the table’s capacity being 495 lbs, I decided to not risk it. In the most polite way I could, I told her that for her safety, I couldn’t service her. As an alternative, I offered our other services where her weight wouldn’t be an issue. Unfortunately, she was too upset/embarrassed, and as a result, she and her group decided to cancel their appointments. Because of this, three of my colleagues hate my guts now. They all believe that I should have been much more accommodating of her.

Am I the a**hole?

AITA For Losing My Temper During A Massage?

From Redditor u/thisisjustabitweird:

I’ve had a long few weeks at work preparing for a huge pitch that happened today. I was exhausted, and I just needed to de-stress. As a treat, I bought a 2-hour full body massage for myself and my girlfriend, full whale music, and everything.

The massage was great, apart from the fact that my girlfriend’s therapist insisted on engaging in constant conversation with her. Therapist speaks Chinese (but speaks English well enough to know what I’m saying), as does my girlfriend (trilingual).

At first, I looked annoyed at my girlfriend, indicating I was looking for peace. 10 minutes later, I said, “Babe, the most relaxing bit of this is you two chatting loudly.” Slightly passive-aggressive, I admit, but I was annoyed and was trying to avoid confrontation. My girlfriend gave me a snarky reply, but I thought the point was made.

The third time around, still loads of noise, and I let out a loud sigh of annoyance. By this point, my girlfriend had stopped responding, but the therapist was still chatting away. The fourth time, I said, “Babe, please.”

Quiet reigns for 10 or so minutes, but then it reverts to normal. The fifth time rolls around, and I’ve lost my patience. I snap and say to the therapist, “If you two want to disturb something that just wants to hibernate, can you please both f*ck off to the zoo?”

This did not go well.

Everything went awkwardly quiet until the end of the massage, but my girlfriend went apesh*t after we left. Said I was rude, the therapist was just happy someone she massaged was Chinese, etc.

My argument was that I booked this to relax and de-stress, and it was ruined by constant chatting (in Chinese, a language I don’t speak), and I gave 5 clear signals that I wasn’t happy.

She was still mad when we got home. I may be the AH for overreacting, but this was my reward for myself, and I brought my girlfriend along who, in my opinion, contributed to it being ruined.

So, Reddit, AITA?

AITA For Asking My Wife To Not Get Massages?

From Redditor u/wyzapped:

My wife suffers from chronic soft tissue pain in her neck, back and shoulders. It’s been like this for years, partly due to stress and old injuries.

For years, she’s used a combo of CBD cream, physical therapy, and pain meds and seen a massage therapist once and sometimes twice a month. Nothing fixes it. It just temporarily makes her feel better.

Recently, she’s started to see the massage therapist two and now three times a month, and the rates have gone up as well. It’s getting really expensive.

I asked her to limit her massages to once a month to manage expenses. She was upset I felt bad. My rationale is that the massages are not a cure, and they are costly and are had at the expense of other things our family needs. We both work and pool our income.

AITA here?