“AITA for not letting my friends use my backyard for their wedding because they do not want me to bring a plus one?”
That was the house you bought from your grandparents — the place that held sentiment for you and a group of friends, including your friend Dave. Dave and his fiancée, Kim, were at the house recently and asked to use the picturesque outdoor setting which features a lake and a gazebo for their wedding. You graciously agreed. But things became complicated when you broke up with Kim’s cousin, Leslie. You ended your relationship when her finances turned out to be an issue hidden from you, and although that was months/years ago, Leslie never really moved on from it. And yet, even while making clear that reconciliation is off the table, she pretends otherwise.
With you back in the dating world again, Dave and Kim have requested that you not have a date at their wedding because they say that it would upset Leslie. You think this is unfair since every other single guest, even Leslie, got a plus-one. This feels like an unreasonable ask since the wedding is on your property. Instead when you pushed back they dug their heels in and you finally cancelled doing the wedding. The wedding is just two months away and now they are mad and searching for a new venue.
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Shortly after, the OP returned with an update.
Are You the Asshole?
No, you’re not the asshole.
- It’s Your Property, Your Rules
First the obvious, you are the owner of the house. They are your guests — guests who have taken advantage of your hospitality to throw their wedding for little to no cost. There’s something so incredibly entitled about giving restrictions on who can attend an event hosted on your land. Well, if they were renting a space elsewhere they could impose any limitations they want, but here? Not so much. - The Double Standard is Clear
Everyone got a plus-one, even Leslie. But you as the third wheel do not get the same courtesy, because this is all to avoid drama coming from your ex, and that is in no way your fault. It should be Leslie that these people ask to not bring a plus-one: she’s the one who has been at the center of the trouble. - Leslie’s Feelings Are Not Your Responsibility
I get why Dave and Kim want a drama-free wedding day, but their solution is to fuck over the wrong person. They care more about how Leslie might feel than your right to have a date — to an event you are throwing. Well, that sets a bad precedent of protecting one person’s emotional immaturity at the expense of fairness to the rest of the world. Should Leslie make a fuss, that is her problem, not yours. - They Took Advantage of Your Kindness and Are Now Upset at the Consequences
They thought they could make you bend and obey them. All of the sudden you set a boundary — they are mad because they have to hold the consequences of their own behavior. You gave them an awesome space, insured it, and proved flexible, but they went too far when they began dictating what you should be doing in your personal life. If they dislike your choice they should find another venue—like any engaged couple would.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Final Verdict: NTA
You were doing them a massive favor, and they paid you back with an outrageous request. You don’t have to make life harder on yourself to accommodate somebody else whose feelings are apparently so delicate that they cannot stand to see an object that belongs to you one day. If they were good friends, they would never expect you to. This was their choice — now they need to live with it.
