**"I Accidentally Discovered My MIL/Boss's Affair

You have uncovered a secret that changes your view of your mother-in-law (who also happens to be your boss) someone you respect (no, make that revere) and admire. Finding out about an affair your wife had with a much younger apprentice has put you in one of the most incredibly challenging positions of all time, personally and professionally. You immediately go into shock and avoidance but now that your husband is back home you are confronted with this dilemma: do you tell him? Do you confront your MIL? Do you tell your FIL? Then how do you go about doing your work afterwards?

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Breaking Down the Key Issues

This situation is emotionally charged and complex, involving ethical, relational, and professional dilemmas. Let’s examine the core aspects at play:

1. The Ethical Dilemma: Should You Tell Your Husband?

You’re in a tough spot because you weren’t meant to find out about this affair. However, this isn’t just about your MIL—it directly affects your family and your husband’s perception of his mother. If roles were reversed, would you want to know? Many would argue that honesty, especially in a marriage, is critical. That said, how and when you disclose this information can make a significant difference.

Consider:

Your husband’s potential reaction—Will he feel blindsided? Betrayed that you waited?
His relationship with his mother—Is this going to irreparably damage it?
His father—Would he want his dad to know?
The professional aspect—Would this create turmoil at work?

It may be wise to approach this carefully, perhaps starting with a “There’s something really difficult I need to talk to you about. I found something by accident, and I don’t know how to handle it.” This opens the door for discussion instead of just dropping a bombshell.

2. The Professional Fallout: Will This Impact Your Job?

Your MIL is still your boss, and you work closely together. Confronting her could create a hostile work environment. If the affair becomes known within the company, it could lead to professional consequences—not only for her but also for the business, especially if the apprentice is benefiting from the relationship.

Consider:

If this comes out, could it hurt the company’s reputation?
Would her stepping back from leadership be necessary?
If things become tense, could this push you out of your role?

A professional strategy might be to avoid direct confrontation at work. If you decide to speak with her, it may be better to do it outside of the office.

3. The Family Dynamic: How Will This Affect Your Relationship with Your MIL?

Your MIL has been a maternal figure to you, making this feel even more like a personal betrayal. If you confront her, be prepared for a defensive reaction. People caught in affairs rarely respond rationally at first. She may deny, gaslight, or even lash out.

If you decide to talk to her, frame it from your personal perspective:
“I didn’t mean to see this, but I did. I’m struggling with how to handle it because I respect you and don’t want to hurt my family.”
This makes it less accusatory and more about your emotional turmoil.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Pls make sure your husband knows — He deserves to know but please be careful.

If you need closure, have that calm, private confrontation w/ your MIL.

Don’t make this a work problem (at least not yet)—It’s not really your business if the apprentice is getting special treatment unless the behavior is completely brazen.

Do not spill the beans to your FIL — This is something for your husband to decide, not you.

This is a messy, emotional issue, with no clear-cut answer. The approach you need to take is to be careful, not to act impulsively, think about your marriage, and put yourself first in the coming days. But how you see about speaking to your husband first.