‘AITA for refusing to go to Thanksgiving because of my mom’s boyfriend?’

This situation is unfortunately common—parents who jump into new relationships without considering how it affects their children. Studies show that children in blended families often struggle with adjustment, especially when a parent introduces a new partner too quickly. Experts recommend a gradual approach to introducing new relationships, ensuring that children feel heard and supported rather than forced into immediate acceptance (Papernow, 2013).

In your case, your mom is not just introducing Mike quickly but also demanding that you embrace a new “family” dynamic before you’re ready. Given your history with an emotionally abusive stepfather, your hesitance is completely valid. Your mom should be prioritizing your comfort and working on rebuilding trust rather than pushing Mike into a fatherly role.

Additionally, emotional neglect can manifest in subtle ways. Your mom’s decision to spend most of her time with Mike while leaving you to fend for yourself is concerning. While you’re 17 and close to adulthood, you’re still a minor, and parents are responsible for their children’s emotional and physical well-being until they are fully independent. Research suggests that when parents prioritize their romantic relationships over their children’s needs, it can lead to long-term emotional distance and resentment (Neuman, 2012).

Reddit Comments:

ADVERT

ADVERT

ADVERT

Not selfish — setting a boundary for your own mental health. Your mom is supposed to encourage you, not make you feel guilty. You have tolerated enough uncertainty, and I can understand why you would want to spend Thanksgiving at a place where you believe you will be cherished. In time, I hope she understands that she is pushing you further away by trying to force this relationship.